One day I was riding in the elevator with the Vice President of Continental Airlines. He was making small talk and mentioned that he had been to a dinner. He said that he had to "kiss the right fanny." So I responded, "Well, you're doing a great job!" Whoops!
The most recent I can think of happened last night. We were at dinner with friends and my friend offered some ravioli to me. I was going to say to Jake "Let's split it" or "Lets share it." But I combined the words split and share...well, lets just say it came out wrong.
I was at the perk with my nieces pushing them on the swings and they wanted to see me jump out of the swing so I got in the swing, got going really high and just when I was jumping out of the swing mu shorts got caught on the swing-I landed FLAT on my face, on the sidewalk in front of at least 50 people-It was pretty bad-My nieces thought is was the funniest thing ever-they thought I did it on purpose-
this....is a doozie...I'll try and be as CLASSY as possible about it however...it may be impossible.
I was 20, Christmas shopping at the mall alone, and I was walking through the food court and it COULD NOT have been more packed. Just as a passed through a particularly crowded section of people eating lunch I all of the sudden "passed gas" ( i have no idea how to say that without being gross!) so insanley loudly that it was like one those movies where you hear the record screech to a halt and EVERYONE drops their forks and knives and everything goes silent and stares at you.... I had NO idea what to do so froze, and for some reason bent down took off my flip flop sandal and inspected it as to show everyone, it wasn't me, but my shoe that made that horrificly loud fart noise.. I put my shoe back on, and walked straight to my car and bawled for 2 minutes than started laughing hysterically.
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Lesson Schedule
1/10: Stake Conference
1/17: GP-1 "Our Heavenly Father"
1/24: GP-2 "Our Heavenly Family"
1/31: General Conference "Repent that I May Heal You" by Elder Anderson
2/7: Visiting Teaching Conference
2/14: GP-3 "Jesus Christ, Our Chosen Leader and Savior"
2/21: GP-4 "Freedom to Choose"
2/28: General Conference "Safety for the Soul" by Elder Holland
3/7: East Relief Society Presidency Lesson
3/14: GP-5 "The Creation"
3/21: GP-6 "The Fall of Adam and Eve"
3/28: General Conference "Our Perfect Example" by President Eyring
4/4: General Conference
4/11: GP-7 "The Holy Ghost"
4/18: GP-8 "Praying to Our Heavenly Father"
4/25: General Conference "Two Principles for Any Economy" by President Utchdorf
5/2: West Relief Society Presidency Lesson
5/9: GP-9 "Prophets of God"
5/16: GP-10 "The Spiritual Gifts of Healing, Tongues, Prophesy . . ."
5/23: General Conference "More Diligent and Concern at Home" by Elder Bednar
4 comments:
My life is just one big embarassing moment.
One day I was riding in the elevator with the Vice President of Continental Airlines. He was making small talk and mentioned that he had been to a dinner. He said that he had to "kiss the right fanny." So I responded, "Well, you're doing a great job!" Whoops!
The most recent I can think of happened last night. We were at dinner with friends and my friend offered some ravioli to me. I was going to say to Jake "Let's split it" or "Lets share it." But I combined the words split and share...well, lets just say it came out wrong.
I was at the perk with my nieces pushing them on the swings and they wanted to see me jump out of the swing so I got in the swing, got going really high and just when I was jumping out of the swing mu shorts got caught on the swing-I landed FLAT on my face, on the sidewalk in front of at least 50 people-It was pretty bad-My nieces thought is was the funniest thing ever-they thought I did it on purpose-
this....is a doozie...I'll try and be as CLASSY as possible about it however...it may be impossible.
I was 20, Christmas shopping at the mall alone, and I was walking through the food court and it COULD NOT have been more packed. Just as a passed through a particularly crowded section of people eating lunch I all of the sudden "passed gas" ( i have no idea how to say that without being gross!) so insanley loudly that it was like one those movies where you hear the record screech to a halt and EVERYONE drops their forks and knives and everything goes silent and stares at you.... I had NO idea what to do so froze, and for some reason bent down took off my flip flop sandal and inspected it as to show everyone, it wasn't me, but my shoe that made that horrificly loud fart noise.. I put my shoe back on, and walked straight to my car and bawled for 2 minutes than started laughing hysterically.
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